Hollywood hell – The death of another franchise

BY GREGG NICHOLL – gregg@ragazine.co.uk

INDIANA JONES, archaeologist, teacher,  legend. Arguably one of the greatest action adventure franchises of all time from its outstanding debut Raiders of the Lost Ark, to its stellar sequels The Temple of Doom and The Last Crusade.

When Bloggers, fan boys and film go-ers heard about a sequel to the now almost 3 decades old franchise getting another instalment people went crazy, as did I. The idea of seeing Dr. Jones punching and whipping the bad guys again was all too good to be true.

Then the fear set in.

Five things…to do on a Bank Holiday

1. Decide to go on a day trip. You’ll probably spend most of the time stuck in motorway traffic in a hot car with a backing track of blaring horns but the five minutes you spend at the zoo/castle/beach will all be worth it.

2. Stay closer to home and enjoy a visit to the local cinema. Watch the latest blockbuster with a bunch of over-excited kids high on e-numbers pelting down the aisles.

3. Go shopping like a mindless drone. Pointless consumerism will alleviate the boredom of having nothing else to do and you‘ve just got to get that latest CD/game/DVD.

4. Sleep. Then sleep some more.

5. Abandon any attempt to relax, give in and go into work on double pay.

Mamma Mia, it’s Meryl!

OSCAR winning actress Meryl Streep wrote a fan letter eight years ago, unbeknownst to her it would bag her a lead role in her favourite musical.

With countless films under her belt, timeless good looks and arguably more talent than most of today’s young Hollywood as a collective, Meryl is usually on the recieving end of fan letters.

However, after watching the musical Mamma Mia! on Broadway eight years ago, Meryl decided to pen one herself.

Five things…to do in the garden

1. Enter the annual contest with the neighbours to see who can have the neatest lawn and garden. Spend hours pruning and mowing. Alternatively give up completely and see what wonderful wildlife will take up residence in your grass jungle.

2. Have a fun-filled barbecue, including the usual rainstorm, undercooked meat and risk of salmonella. Kiss the Cook apron optional.

3. Feed the pretty little birds who visit your garden. If you live in a slightly more urban environment, feed the rats instead. They need love too.

4. Sunbathe with factor 50 suntan lotion. OK you won’t get a very good tan but you won’t get skin cancer either.

5. Star gaze. Search the night sky and the vast eternity of space for inspiration. Look at the stars millions of miles away and philosophise about the meaning of life. See if anything stares back. Or just look for UFOs.

We Are Wolves will huff and puff and blow you away!

BY GREGG NICHOLL – gregg@ragazine.co.uk

 

WE ARE WOLVES, how does anyone begin to describe these French Canadian genre hopping dance punk enthusiasts? Umm… suppose that’s a start… but it’s not enough!

 

Belfast won’t know what hit it when these guys have the crowds barking at the moon come May 28th.

 

Films to see before you die: The Proposition

ROBYN CLARE SCOTT - robyn@ragazine.co.uk

THIS hard-boiled film is set in hot and dusty nineteenth century Australia, long before it became a friendly holiday destination. Instead it is a dangerous place, where men of bad repute roam freely across the outback

Enter Captain Stanley, played by Ray Winstone, who is determined to ‘civilise’ the land, one way or another.

After capturing dangerous outlaw Charlie Burns (Guy Pearce) and his terrified younger brother Arthur (Richard Wilson), Stanley presents him with a rather unorthodox proposition.

If Charlie finds and kills his older brother Mike (Danny Huston), he will walk free with Arthur. If he fails or refuses, Arthur will be hanged.

Queen’s chiefs ‘flop out’ at discovery

EMBARRASSED QUB bosses have ordered the removal of a herbal viagra machine from the male toilets in the students’ Union.

The tablet dispensers had only been installed for a week before they were discovered and swiftly removed last friday.

The machine at QUB is only one of several which has appeared in clubs across Belfast in the past few weeks. The distributors claim the herbal pill is just as ‘potent’ as the regular prescription Viagra.

Lips will leave Belfast gob smacked

BY GREGG NICHOLL – gregg@ragazine.co.uk

Belsonic - Belfast’s newest musical event has come right out of nowhere and has brought with it some of the biggest bands the planet has to offer….

Forgetting all that last minute announcement crap, dragging you along, only to end in perpetual disappointment with who MIGHT be headlining Belfast’s other August outdoor “extravaganza” - ViTal.

 Belsonic has instead kicked off the summer in style bringing arguably the happiest, most enjoyable live act of all time to Belfast – THE FLAMING LIPS

Suzie McBoozy looks at the White Russian

BY SUSAN McCULLOUGH – susan@ragazine.co.uk

A WHITE Russian is a sweet, after-dinner cocktail made up of vodka, coffee liqueur ( e.g. Kahlua or Tia Maria) and cream, typically served up in an old-fashioned glass with ice.

The name is mis-leading as the drink is not traditionally Russian, but instead derives from the fact that vodka is the primary ingredient.

The first mention of the White Russian seems to be in a cocktail receipe that appeared in the Oakland (California) Tribune on 21 November 1965 which showed up as the insert : “White Russian. 1oz. each Coffee Southern, vodka cream.”

Desperate Housewife

We gals’ know that getting a man’s attention is a mammoth task at the best of times. One Loughgall lady however, proved to be an expert at snaring her husband’s interest – by faking her own kidnapping.

Newry Crown Court heard how Patricia Thompson, 44, conceived a ‘tiger kidnap’ plot to win back her husband’s attention believing that he was having an affair.

The court heard how her false claims began in July 2005, when Thompson alerted police to a phony raid by a gang of four men who robbed cash from her home in Blackisland Road, Loughgall.

For a further nine months, Thompson made numerous false reports to police detailing threats on her life. These included bogus reports of graffiti attacks, sabotaged brake pipes and threatening text messages.